"I tried to smoke pot for the first time when I was 14. Figured I could sneak a few puffs off my big sister’s little glass piece. Stuck it in my mouth trying to figure out which end I was supposed to smoke from. Tasted peculiar. Plus, I just couldn’t get how to work the thing. Eventually, I discovered that these smoking devices typically have a little indentation where the marijauna is supposed to go as well as a pathway inside of it which allows you to inhale the smoke. Glass buttplugs don’t have either of these, which is an important distinction."
— Gold in the reddit comments section. (via brispyedges)
filed under: #same   
"Against my better instincts, I wrapped my legs around his waist and dry-humped him like a teenager in a church basement."
— This is fucking inspiring (via sexwrecks)
"And then, suddenly, like a firehose in my loins, a geyser of icewater shot deep inside of me, and the propulsion caused me to come like a rocket, as I collapsed into a twitching bundle on the ground."
— Rest in fucking peace (via sexwrecks)

Never forget

harrystylesdildo:

AU: Macklemore falls in love with Zayn Malik and not even Harry Styles can come between him and Zayn. 

filed under: #gifsets   #jESUS   
Anonymous asked: “Harder like that, harder, harder! Oh, Lawdy, boy, you can fuck!” i'm laughING SO HARD

me in the sack irl tbh

Teen Wolf AU where everything is the same except Derek is a Velociraptor

That was supposed to go on my main but I’m phone-blogging so I guess you can all read it instead

One of the people in that teen wolf callout list just made an anti-Sterek post to defend themselves this shit is WILD and I want you all to watch this small corner of the teen wolf fandom piss itself with me because WTF is even happening

Have you guys ever seen Open Gate? It’s the movie those rodeo clown gifs are from and I wish I could have it all just play on an endless loop in the sexwrecks background. I’ve seen that move 10 times, and I paid real money to do it

filed under: #same   

Teen Wolf AU where everything’s exactly the same except Derek is a rodeo clown.

filed under: #gifsets   #never forget   

harrystylesdildo:

AU in which Harry and Zayn become fathers together. They move into a home together to finally become the family they always wanted to be. But then Harry murders Zayn because he falls for Niall. Zayn’s dear friend Janet Jackson visits his grave the same day Niall proposes to marry Harry at the America Music Awards.

filed under: #gifsets   #:'(   

harrystylesdildo:

girlnympht:

harrystylesdildo:

AU: After a rough break up with Britney Spears, Harry decides it is time to be honest with himself. He begins to publicly open up about his Bisexuality. But to the shock of his Christian mother. She doesn’t handle it well and kicks him out. In an interview, Harry tearfully admits that his true love is Louis Tomlinson. When questioned about if she knew of Louis and Harry’s secret affair, Britney reacts both shocked and disgusted because she was sleeping with Harry while he slept with Louis. 

this isn’t real is it….

this is as real as real gets, honey

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1147048?view_full_work=true

this is the only explicit olaf fanfiction on ao3. i have never felt more betrayed in my fucking life

@theme