BANG MY BUTTSLUT ASS

i can’t believe summer with snape still hasn’t updated, i hope SeverusSnapeFan is ok :c

Fri, 10 May 2013 17:33:20 -0400

i can’t believe summer with snape still hasn’t updated, i hope SeverusSnapeFan is ok :c

eatsleepcrap: oh god

Fri, 10 May 2013 10:44:05 -0400

eatsleepcrap:

oh god

"Yes, it’s the tree idiot.” Germany’s former dictator said. “As Grand Master of the Order, you get..."

Wed, 08 May 2013 02:44:13 -0400

““Yes, it’s the tree idiot.” Germany’s former dictator said. “As Grand Master of the Order, you get certain possessions that are quite special. This order has been around for thousands of years son, honestly I can’t explain some of the shit that has been handed down to me but you just learn to deal with it. This tree gives me life, just as it did to my predecessor Abraham Lincoln.””

- yeah (via feferi)

"Soon Luc spots humongous chub on pup slut Todd. Luc’s succubus guns. Our two gods mushroom...."

Mon, 06 May 2013 05:43:00 -0400

“Soon Luc spots humongous chub on pup slut Todd. Luc’s succubus guns. Our two gods mushroom. Todd pulls Luc’s hood. Luc flops Todd, rubs Todd’s rump, drums Todd’s knot, churns Todd’s rut, tugs Todd’s butt. Thus room, sucks nuts. Todd grunts, tough to bottom. Luc lobs sputum up Todd’s duct: unctuous.”

- ????????

"Blow,” he said huskily, and I blew. It was strange what happened then. I blew and blew and the..."

Mon, 06 May 2013 05:29:45 -0400

““Blow,” he said huskily, and I blew. It was strange what happened then. I blew and blew and the air from my mouth seemed to fill the inside of his penis. […] I held the wet tip to my lips and continued pushing the air from my lungs, up past my throat, into his penis. Soon it resembled one of those sausage-dog balloons that the magicians used to make at my friends’ birthday parties.”

- ????

"Serge leads the way, in a blue tank top and his usual midlength jeans. The few hairs on the back of..."

Mon, 06 May 2013 05:03:43 -0400

“Serge leads the way, in a blue tank top and his usual midlength jeans. The few hairs on the back of his calves are black and short and sexy.”

- of all the things to choose to fixate on

bolto: im reading anal fantasy

Mon, 06 May 2013 03:28:55 -0400

bolto:

im reading anal fantasy

I think everyone needs to go into those future!fics where Derek & Stiles lead an actual functioning pack that "adopts" stray omegas that happen to wander through Hale territory and yell at them. "WTF you terrible author! How dare you say these twenty-something werewolves were adopted and not follow up with legal proceedings and name changes and calling Sheriff grandpa! You lied to me! Next time I expect everything to be notarized!". Or not. We could also not do that.

Wed, 01 May 2013 18:33:37 -0400

I just saw this first message and I agree the entire teen wolf fandom needs to mobilize and publicly shame everyone who has ever used the word adoption to mean ANYTHING other than the legal process of adoption. If your fic isn’t notarized youre going to hell

feferi replied to your post: archiveofourown.org/wor i am linking this bc im too lazy to screenshot...

Wed, 01 May 2013 18:22:36 -0400

feferi replied to your post:

archiveofourown.org/wor i am linking this bc im too lazy to screenshot it but in the 2nd footnote of this fic the author says the coffeeshop au (that noble institution) and i had to just fucking put my kindle down and stare outside

someday the whole world will be a coffeeshop au. will you steam my milk, feferi

i wrote a long post about how exasperated i have recently become with coffeeshop aus but since the...

Wed, 01 May 2013 18:12:57 -0400

i wrote a long post about how exasperated i have recently become with coffeeshop aus but since the tumblr app shows full posts instead of read more cuts, i posted it privately, and so here is a link for those of you who want Something A Little Different From The Sexwrecks Organization

http://sexwrecks.tumblr.com/private/49388891748/tumblr_mm549enVb91rrr9a9

now if you’ll excuse me, [walks away to go read a dozen coffeeshop aus because i have learned nothing from my own complaints]

did you guys know that there’s a tentacle big bang. it’s like a normal big bang, only...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 19:31:15 -0400

did you guys know that there’s a tentacle big bang. it’s like a normal big bang, only everything involves tentacles

i just thought you might want to know i don’t really have anything to say about it

http://tentaclebigbang.dreamwidth.org/

We lost another follower do you think that if I blog about it every time we’ll lose more and...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 02:36:09 -0400

We lost another follower do you think that if I blog about it every time we’ll lose more and more until the only person left following us is Left

IF YOU LEAVE THE PACK YOU DIE. THE LONE WOLF GETS ITS SHIT ROCKED BY WILD BISON. FUCK YOU I DONT...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 02:25:06 -0400

IF YOU LEAVE THE PACK YOU DIE. THE LONE WOLF GETS ITS SHIT ROCKED BY WILD BISON. FUCK YOU I DONT NEED YOu

sexwrecks: why are you unfollwoign us i hate you youre crushing my spirit im only like 9 years old...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 02:21:54 -0400

sexwrecks:

why are you unfollwoign us i hate you

youre crushing my spirit im only like 9 years old i dont need thIS

what do you mean ppl unfollowed us

why are you unfollwoign us i hate you youre crushing my spirit im only like 9 years old i dont need...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 02:19:54 -0400

why are you unfollwoign us i hate you

youre crushing my spirit im only like 9 years old i dont need thIS

mauthedoog: sexwrecks: attn ele is a loud gay fart from a winking humid asshole IILL FUCKING KILL...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 02:18:00 -0400

mauthedoog:

sexwrecks:

attn ele is a loud gay fart from a winking humid asshole

IILL FUCKING KILL YOu how dARE you misuse sexwrecks how UFKCING DARTE YOU. I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THIS BLOG IS AFFILITATED WITH THE PRESIDENT BUT WELL NOT EANYMORE NOW THAT YOU HAVE TALKED ABOTU HUMID ASSHOLES DURING WORK HOUR

“if only the president could see me now”

well now he has, and he didn’t like what he saw and now we’re going to jail for treason and also reading about national heroes getting railed by robots during work hours

attn ele is a loud gay fart from a winking humid asshole

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 02:11:24 -0400

attn ele is a loud gay fart from a winking humid asshole

i should make “hold my earrings” autoplay on sexwrecks so that everyone is 85% more...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 02:10:32 -0400

i should make “hold my earrings” autoplay on sexwrecks so that everyone is 85% more likely to start a fight in our inbox including me

californiajones replied to your post: i dont understand what just happened grandpa i’m sorry...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 02:07:03 -0400

californiajones replied to your post:

i dont understand what just happened grandpa

i’m sorry son i got too excited. basically, someone wrote a sad fic and then people LITERALLY DEMANDED THAT THEY REWRITE THE ENDING ENTIRELY because it was too sad even though 1) they heavily foreshadowed the sadness, 2) tagged the fic for sadness, and 3) made the ending as happy as possible despite that single sad element

REWRITE THE WHOLE FUCKING THING YOU HACK., THIS FIC IS A SHAM. THESE TAGS ARE LIES YOU CANT’ MISREPERESENT YOUR STORY LIKE THAT„, ADOPTION IS A LEGAL TERM,

feferi replied to your post: THE ONYL QUALITY CONTROL FOR MY POSTS HERE IS MY… if i send...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 01:56:56 -0400

feferi replied to your post: THE ONYL QUALITY CONTROL FOR MY POSTS HERE IS MY…

if i send you bad pseudo-victorian gay porn dialogue will you post it

send me that fucking fic where courfeyrac was fingering grantaire while they recited the dionysiaca